History Repeating
by heroofmyownstory
Summary: A short conversation between Ginny and Sirius about history repeating itself.


_History Repeating  
One-Shot_

 **G** inny had always been intrigued by people enshrouded in mystery. The reason she had always been so attracted to Harry had been partially due to the fact that despite all his fame, his real personality was secret from the tabloids. Perhaps because it was not scandalous enough to sell magazines, she thought ruefully, remembering all the lies Rita Skeeter had made up about him and Hermione with a just a hint of anger.

However… when it came to Harry, to Hermione's advice, she had decided to let it go… at least for awhile. Because she knew she could never give up Harry, not even if her life depended on it; there was something inside of her that pulled her towards him, and she had no idea what it was, and was wondering that if the feeling was so strong in him, how was it possible that he did not exhibit even the tiniest semblance of returning her feelings? However, for both of their sakes, she had decided to let it go and no longer make a great show, as her brothers often said, of her love for him. The rejections were humiliating for her, and the constant undesired advances were embarrassing for Harry. Having to repress her emotions squelched a tiny part of her soul. But running after him seemed to yield no results, and she was beginning to lose hope, even though she had been certain that they were meant to be in the beginning. The feeling had been so strong… now it was fading. Maybe she had been deluding herself.

"I really like him. I sent him Valentine's Day cards too, always anonymous… I think he knew they were from me, though, and he seemed constantly annoyed when he received them… It broke my heart a little, you know, but at the same time I could understand it…"

Sirius burst out laughing unexpectedly.

"I've had this exact conversation with someone else before," Sirius said, grinning, sitting outside on the grassy hilltop, eating all sorts of sweets and snacks.

"Really?" Ginny asked, munching on a piece of cake uninterestedly.

"With his father," Sirius said, smiling, obviously enjoying that history was repeating itself – this time, in a good way – but still sorry that he was not a part of it. Ginny gulped down a lump in her throat. She could not afford to feel his pain, even if they had grown close over the Winter Break. If she allowed herself to immerse herself in his life, the pain that emanated from him even in his strongest moments would drown her. She knew she would not be able to bear the load that was his past. Even though everyone had envied Sirius in high school for being the popular kid, that was about the extent of his happiness. He had never truly fallen in love, never made a family of his own – the things that would have really cured him of the abusive home he had left behind he had never been able to do. Instead, he had spent 12 years in Azkaban wrongfully convicted. Life could be so cruel, Ginny thought, on the verge of tears. She wiped her suddenly runny nose with her arm.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing," Ginny said. "Nothing at all." she managed, bursting out crying and burying her head in her knees, clutching them to her chest with her muscly arms.

"Hey, don't cry," Sirius said, putting a cold hand on Ginny's back, making Ginny's head shoot up in surprise, and look him in the eye. He looked moved, smiling, despite himself; it was the first time that his eyes matched his smile. Ginny was almost shocked to discover that Sirius could still feel true happiness, albeit seldom, despite everything he had gone through. It was a testimony of true strength of character that Ginny respected. "Don't cry. Relax, Ginevra. Don't worry about me. I'm past my prime, aren't I?" he said, laughing.

"No, no, no!" Ginny said, putting a warm hand on his shoulders. Sirius seemed surprised for a moment, but then smiled at her.

"Stop feeling so sorry for me! Otherwise I might burst out crying too, and that would ruin my tough ex-convict image, wouldn't it?" he said, laughing, bursting into tears as well.

Ginny laughed out loud. "Stop it!" she said, realizing that she had just seen a rare glimpse of the person Sirius had once been, before Azkaban. Now, he was just a shadow of his former self, but even as such, he was exceptional. She wondered that if even in this sorry state he was still so admirable, what could he have been like during his school years, and after that, when he was still young and before the tragedy struck him and the Potters?

It made a shiver go down her spine, knowing that this, or something equally horrible, could end up happening to any of them. Even her. But she steeled herself. She would not feel sorry for herself in advance.

"Don't you cry for me, Ginvera," he said. "You're way too young to be carrying around this much pain in your heart. Don't take my burdens on yourself; you won't help me with that."

Ginny blinked incredulously.

Sirius just smiled in response.

"Don't you see, Ginny? History is repeating itself, in the most beautiful way possible. There is nothing more beautiful than love, and there was no love more beautiful than the one between Lily and James; you are destined to experience the same with Harry, because both of you have such pure hearts. That is rare, Ginny! You have to protect each other! Promise me you'll never leave each other – promise me, Ginevra, alright? That is the biggest thing you could do for me."

Ginny grinned painfully. "Come on, Sirius, we're not even together yet," she said, grinning.

"If I could count how many times I have heard that in my life," Sirius said nostalgically, looking at the sky, his eyes alive with a sort of joie de vivre she had not really seen in many other people's eyes. Ginny looked in the direction Sirius was looking in and recognized the constellation and the star which Sirius was focusing on in particular. His name was a self-fulfilling prophecy, Ginny thought with a smile. Sirius, the brightest star in the sky. Truly, he was the only sane person to ever come out of that wretched family, and was worth more than all of them combined. Ginny looked at him, smiling, wondering if he knew, if he knew just how much he was worth.

"Not from you," Sirius went on. "But from James,"

Ginny smiled, nodding. She had understood what he meant.

"You have made me the happiest man on Earth today, Ginny," Sirius went on after a short pause, grinning, his eyes shining, suddenly looking younger than Ginny had ever seen him. For the first time in a long while, he looked his age. "There is no greater gift that I could have gotten out of life than to have my past be repeated. That beautiful, wonderful past… Remus's and James's friendship. All the fun we had. If this is the price I have to pay, then so be it – but those years were beautiful, more than most people get out of life. And I'll always have those memories, no matter what happens to me, do you understand? They're the things that keep me sane. That keep me happy no matter what happens to me. That make me want to continue living despite everything because those memories enable me to believe that there are things left worth fighting for. That life is beautiful if you are surrounded by the right people. And that there still are… that youth, despite the times we live in, is still such a beautiful time of one's life… it makes me happier than anything else could. You know, I am done living. I am only alive for my godson anymore, to make sure that he lives the happy life I never got to. And now – I am praying with all my heart – that you and Harry will end up together. Because James and Lily, they were soulmates. And if you two fell in love… that would make my return from Azkaban worthwhile."


End file.
